Stop Working On Yourself, You’re Fine!

  If you’re anything like the other 78% of Americans you’ve signed up for a course, training, or ya know, you invested in school. This is because growing, becoming more successful, and evolving as a human is important to you (I mean, it’s how we survive!).Furthermore, if you’re anything like my other readers, you’re committed to being the change you want to see and making this world a better place. Of course, this takes investing in your skills, growth, and expansion. However, this doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you, or that you, or your life, needs to be fixed. When we are trying to fill a hole: we don’t read fast enough, we suck at spreadsheets, our financial planning is embarrassing, or we hate public speaking, to name a few - we are starting in a place of fear, regret, or embarrassment. Imagine starting a marathon thinking, I suck at running? We’re never going to finish that marathon, let alone enjoy one step of it. In fact, the constant need to learn, change, and overcome is actually escapism. You are escaping from the current situation. You’re creating a fight or flight response so you actually MOVE. You trick yourself into thinking there’s a disaster or you can’t hide from the impending doom if you don’t change, and then you bully yourself into action.Sure, this may have gotten you to pull an all-nighter to cram for an exam or finish a presentation, but this isn’t a sustainable let alone inspiring way of getting the results you want.  You know how you feel after that all-nighter, like microwaved death (and just about as dehydrated). Instead, start with where you are at. Really get comfortable with the situation at hand. Give yourself full permission to be all of you (even the totally unprepared and kicking yourself you). Maybe that you isn’t getting up at 5am today to exercise. OK. You’re leaving your inbox with 13 unread emails, and you are DONE. You’re not even going to answer that call because you don’t WANT too. Whoah, how does that feel? How does it feel to be fully, totally, unashamedly you? I know it feels like a HUGE relief, and then something else happens. You get to CHOOSE what happens next. When you create action from a place of security, acceptance and presence, your choice gets pulled out of a box of limitless opportunities. When you’re forcing yourself to do something, you’re limited to choosing from “have too,” “should,” “or else.”Choosing what happens next is incredibly empowering. Trusting you will handle whatever comes next is a powerful way of building confidence and certainty, even in the most uncertain times. Practice accepting the situation as it is, and see how you open up to the possibilities.