you versus them

You Vs. Them

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this next strategy, because I have seen this pattern with hundreds of clients, and over the course of my 20 years in business leadership, I may have even done this myself … a long time ago (jk’s, we all do this). 

When we get into that “oh shit” perspective, we start labeling everything. 

BAD is a good way of generalizing this attitude in this mind frame. Again, we label things because our brain needs to act quickly to survive.

Labels get filed into their appropriate folders and bad habits or default strategies show up to save the day, with a quickness. It’s automatic, we don’t even realize this coping mechanism may be the root of the problem. 

Our brains have evolved over thousands of years. Again, this enables us to go “Bear! BAD. Run!”

I hope that not many of us are confronting this level of danger in our day-to-day.

 It goes a little more like, “Customer email. BAD. Ignore!” But that fear eats away at us, and then we snap at our employee, make a bad call on purchases, and close early because no one is coming in. 

Elementary examples, but hopefully they convey the concept that labels are simply things to the point of binary. Good or bad, better or worse, succeed or fail, us or them.

We know there are a million options out there.

We know people come from wildly different places and are entitled to their experience, just as much as we are. The second we put a label onto something we separate ourselves from it, we judge it, and we make it a battle that we better not lose. 

I challenge you to notice how much you label and judge in your day. When I started to take notice of this, I was shocked! This helped me understand how much I judge myself. I actually WANTED everything to be a problem so I HAD TO fix it (even if it wasn’t my problem, OR it wasn’t a problem AT ALL).

What do we do when we catch ourselves, “ this is a thought pattern I’ve practiced my whole life?” You’ll say. “I hear you.!”

 It’s pretty simple, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. 

So I’m giving it all away here, so listen? read close … 

You tend to feel something, then label that physical sensation. Eek! My stomach is kinda queasy, I’m short of breath, and a little tingly in the tips of my toes and fingers. I am “nervous” and this is “bad.”

Our reactions and then results follow. 

But, eek! My stomach is kinda queasy, I’m short of breath, and a little tingly in the tips of my toes and fingers. And the rollercoaster crests the top of the ride, and we drop into exhilarating, heart-stopping fun. Or, they’re walking up to the table and you realize, you’re in love. Or the doctor calls to tell you, you’re all clear. All GOOD! 

However we interpret the feeling, our mind labels it accordingly. Essentially, if it’s negative, you can imagine what actions you’ll take if any – avoidance, doubt, regret, annoyance, half-assed – and the results of anything done with this attitude is sub-par. 

When we have the awareness that, “ok, this isn’t my favorite but I know this activity is super important and means a lot, and when I accomplish it I will feel much more secure and strong, now I choose to act,” you’re going to get stellar results. 

Labeling is judgment. Judgment is saying this vs me, a battle needs to be fought here, and I won’t lose. When we can step away from labeling something, or try on some different labels to see how that shifts our perspective, our entire world changes. 

Shifting our perspective is the cheapest, fastest, and easiest way to change our entire experience. It allows us to create endless possibilities and limitless success with far less effort and stress. 

Read More: How To Make Fast & Impactful Decisions

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  1. Pingback: Why it all feels so dang hard right now! - BZ Coaching

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